July 8, 2008

Ask Meryl ~ Argue?

Filed under: Ask Meryl by Meryl Runion |

Meryl,

My immediate supervisor uses the word “argue “when anyone disagrees with her. How do I change this around?

Meryl Responds:

Very interesting Poison Phrase. I suspect it reflects her attitude about disagreement.

Inquire. Say,

My intent is for us to exchange ideas and learn from each other, not argue. Am I coming across like I’m arguing?
How can I express a different perspective without sounding argumentative to you?
When I hear the word argue, I wonder if you think I’m working against you. I’m on your team, and want to be able to make suggestions without coming across that way. Can you suggest ways to make that happen?
When I make a mistake or am overlooking something, I like people to tell me. And when I have information I think you could use, I’d like to be able to tell you. How can I do that without sounding like I’m arguing?

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Thanks so much for the question and the answer. I have a direct supervisor who uses the word argue if I have a different viewpoint with her. She always follows up with we cannot argue in front of the students. I am a teacher. I ask when can we discuss this and she never answers… or answers “Later” Needless to say later is like tomorrow and never arrives.

Comment by Liz Fluitt — July 9, 2008 @ 5:03 pm