June 29, 2008

Put an end to bickering

Filed under: Set the tone by Meryl Runion |

Meryl, I’m interested in your thoughts about a situation with two subordinates whom happen to be supervisors and are showing signs of a strained relationship. Let me explain.

Three supervisors work for me. Two of them have been in the unit 20-25 years. The third has only been with the team 5 years. The two longer term sups are beginning to nit pick at each other and complain individually to the 3rd supervisor. The 3rd supervisor now feels caught in the middle but apparently holds her own openly agreeing or disagreeing with the issue. I dearly enjoy and respect all 3 ladies but the bickering is getting old and now I can see some passive aggressive behavior that impacts the business.

I’ve recently decided to have a Teambuilding meeting off premise but really I think the better term is an intervention like they have for alcoholics. In other words, sit down with all 3 and just tell them what I see and that some actions are now impacting the business. I believe I could get the 3rd sup to chime in also. Then sit back and see what surfaces so we can talk about it. I believe the bickering is nothing more than symptoms of something bigger but I can’t get at that until I get them talking.

What would you do? What could my opening line be? I’m not sure how to preface this get together. EEEK, help!

Meryl Responds,

Say,

I’ve brought us together to establish some communication standards to create a habit of proactively addressing issues rather than complaining. Here are some standards of communication I recommend.

Then list communication policies that you think would resolve the problem. Things like:

Address the issue with the person who can do something about it.
Speak in the same way when someone isn’t present as you would if they were.
Discuss problems to resolve them rather than vent or complain.

Invite the group to add to ground rules.

By the way, I have a complete chapter on communication ground rules in my Unite and Concur book. They are designed for political dialogue but can easily be adapted to your needs.

Let me know how this works for you.