June 16, 2008

Ask Meryl ~ Indirect negativity

Filed under: Ask Meryl by Meryl Runion |

Meryl,
I am the manager of an employee that I feel needs to be disciplined due to bad attitude. This employee has been written up in the past and ever since the write up now makes negative remarks openly within the department just loud enough so co-worker friends can hear. The remarks are always made in a way that prevents correction due to them not being made directly at someone. The times I have attempted to make correction this employee immediately pretends she is not pointing comments at anyone in particular. Could you please provide speak strong correction suggestions for how to address someone that is so good at making their negative comments in this manner?

Meryl Responds

Words don’t need to be directed toward someone to be actionable. It sounds like they have an impact as presented, and that impact needs to be addressed.

However, I do recommend you focus on the behavior and its impact instead of the attitude.

When someone who works for me displays a bad attitude, my first line of conversation is an attempt to see if anything is going on that is causing malaise. I might say,

When you say things like that it causes me to wonder if you don’t want to be here or if there’s something bothering you. Because it sounds negative and leads me to think you’re not happy here. Is there something we can address that can help?

Sometimes you’ll uncover an issue that has nothing to do with the incidents.

If there isn’t anything, let her know the effect her words have. Say,

Are you aware of the impact of remarks like…? I understand and appreciate the fact that you no longer address negative comments to people directly, but your remarks still have a demoralizing impact. Is that your intent, or are you unaware of the impact?

Then, remind her every time she does it.