July 21, 2008
Ask Meryl ~ unaccountable employees
Meryl, I am a kitchen manager at a college that employs students. As the season progresses, I have to repeat myself a lot and deal with many sick calls. As this is on going I find myself getting annoyed and I tend to take it out on everyone. Blowing up is part of every week. I’m trying to stay calm but sometimes I need to address the problem immediately and this is where the problem lies. I don’t have enough time to calm down. Can you make a suggestion as to how best to handle these situations calmly?
Meryl Responds,
Clarify your expectations and hold employees to job standards. The fact that they’re students doesn’t excuse irresponsibility. I imagine you explode because you feel powerless to affect change.
In Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors, I describe how to establish job standards and how to get people to agree to them. Once that’s complete, your conversations can refer to the standards they agreed to. When you address transgressions, adopt a troubleshooting, “how can I help you do your job right” attitude. If that doesn’t work, you need to warn them and if that doesn’t work, replace them. One of my seminar attendees values the phrase,
-
I need someone to do your job, and I’m hoping it will be you
It may be these students haven’t learned responsibility, or it may be they have but think the job is beneath them. Or they could be overloaded. Whatever the reason, be clear, direct and supportive – and make it clear that they will be held to the standards of the job.
Check out my Performance Flow Chart. It guides you though the entire process.
July 10, 2008
Talk the talk and the walk - 26 phrases to not use
No Bull Business Blog excerpted 26 phrases not to put in writing from Business Writing: A Guide to Clear, Concise and Effective Writing. Here are a few:
Instead of: Use:
At this point in time Now
Come to the conclusion Conclude
Despite the fact that Although
Exhibits a tendency to Tends
I am of the opinion I think
In the amount of for
Is indicative of indicates
A Power Phrase is as long as it needs to be and no longer - so keep it brief.
July 8, 2008Ask Meryl ~ Argue?
Meryl,
My immediate supervisor uses the word “argue “when anyone disagrees with her. How do I change this around?
Meryl Responds:
Very interesting Poison Phrase. I suspect it reflects her attitude about disagreement.
Inquire. Say,
- My intent is for us to exchange ideas and learn from each other, not argue. Am I coming across like I’m arguing?
- How can I express a different perspective without sounding argumentative to you?
- When I hear the word argue, I wonder if you think I’m working against you. I’m on your team, and want to be able to make suggestions without coming across that way. Can you suggest ways to make that happen?
- When I make a mistake or am overlooking something, I like people to tell me. And when I have information I think you could use, I’d like to be able to tell you. How can I do that without sounding like I’m arguing?
Techniques ~ Best / worst case scenario
In my management seminars, I teach a decision-making process that involves answering the following questions:
1. What’s the best that can happen if I do this?
2. What’s the worst that can happen if I do this?
3. Is number one worth risking number two?
4. Can I live with number two if it happens?
I used this process to decide whether I wanted to sponsor The UltiMate(tm) Relationship Seminar in Colorado Springs. The answer was a decisive yes.
June 29, 2008Put an end to bickering
Meryl, I’m interested in your thoughts about a situation with two subordinates whom happen to be supervisors and are showing signs of a strained relationship. Let me explain.
Three supervisors work for me. Two of them have been in the unit 20-25 years. The third has only been with the team 5 years. The two longer term sups are beginning to nit pick at each other and complain individually to the 3rd supervisor. The 3rd supervisor now feels caught in the middle but apparently holds her own openly agreeing or disagreeing with the issue. I dearly enjoy and respect all 3 ladies but the bickering is getting old and now I can see some passive aggressive behavior that impacts the business.
I’ve recently decided to have a Teambuilding meeting off premise but really I think the better term is an intervention like they have for alcoholics. In other words, sit down with all 3 and just tell them what I see and that some actions are now impacting the business. I believe I could get the 3rd sup to chime in also. Then sit back and see what surfaces so we can talk about it. I believe the bickering is nothing more than symptoms of something bigger but I can’t get at that until I get them talking.
What would you do? What could my opening line be? I’m not sure how to preface this get together. EEEK, help!
Meryl Responds,
Say,
- I’ve brought us together to establish some communication standards to create a habit of proactively addressing issues rather than complaining. Here are some standards of communication I recommend.
Then list communication policies that you think would resolve the problem. Things like:
- Address the issue with the person who can do something about it.
- Speak in the same way when someone isn’t present as you would if they were.
- Discuss problems to resolve them rather than vent or complain.
Invite the group to add to ground rules.
By the way, I have a complete chapter on communication ground rules in my Unite and Concur book. They are designed for political dialogue but can easily be adapted to your needs.
Let me know how this works for you.
June 28, 2008when 8-5ers and contract employees colide
What do you say to 8-5 employees who criticize contract workers who keep irregular hours? Find out on my post, The 8-5-ers don’t get it on www.SpeakStrong.com.
Delegation ~ advice for giving advice
If people resist your advice, find out why. It could be:
- You expect blind compliance from a critical thinker
- They need to understand your expertise
- There are undermining circumstances you need to address
- You need to adapt to their style
If in doubt, ask your listener how you can win their trust.
The ultimate credibility booster is to give great answers to the serious questions people ask.
Read my article Good Advice for Giving Advice.
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Related posts which may interest you
- Reader Story ~ it is possible to get managers to listen to feedback
- Techniques ~ Best / worst case scenario
- Communciate for change ~ how to get managers to listen to feedback
- We are misreading each other. ~ PowerPhrase
- Five minutes of your undivided attention now could save us hours later. ~ PowerPhrase
Reader Story ~ it is possible to get managers to listen to feedback
I wanted to follow up on my email to you.
I had my meeting with the managers of our team regarding the results of a recent survey I conducted. I asked questions about what challenges the team faced in their jobs, as well as their thoughts about the management of our group. I am happy to say that I was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly this meeting went.
I opened the meeting by saying:
- I received some honest feedback that we’ll go through one by one. As we go through these responses, I’d like you to remember that the feedback represents how these folks feel and how they perceive a situation or challenge. There are no right or wrong answers as these responses represent their feelings. I’m excited about the honesty of their answers.
- Based on how some of these responses are worded, as well as what some of the folks specifically said, you may know who responded in a particular way. Again, I ask you to do your best to dismiss trying to figure out who-said-what and just focus on what they said.
During my informal presentation, there was a lot of silence and note-taking — which I feel was their way of absorbing what was being discussed and documenting what they felt were possible resolutions.
After the presentation, my manager asked the team, “Well, how do you all feel about this?” One manager started saying something like, “You know, I’m really sick and tired of all this griping and I know who said the majority of these comments and she always…”. The Director of the group (who was one of the people I initially anticipated a lot of resistance from) interrupted her and said (calmly and quietly), Stop… we’re here to look at the answers and not judge the people… these are important and a lot of them are right-on. We need to figure out how to fix this.
WOW
We continued with an open and honest discussion, and ended with action items and next steps. It was such a successful meeting. Thanks again, Meryl, for your words of guidance.
June 18, 2008Language to use at termination
My SpeakStrong blog had a lively dialogue about the word termination and how to tell someone they’re fired. It led to a broader discussion about the constant struggle to balance truth and sensitivity. Here are some of the suggested phrases to replace the word termination.
- We’ve given you several opportunities to improve, Bob, but we cannot spend company resources that way any longer.
- It is time to part ways.
- Separated from the job/position
The word “termination” got no votes.
Communciate for change ~ how to get managers to listen to feedback
Meryl.
I work in a Customer Support department of my company. We recently experienced a couple of layoffs, as well as a history of “ill feelings”, feelings of “us vs. them”, “mismanagement”, etc. I’m in the process of surveying the managers to ascertain what they feel the challenges are of their direct reports, and I’m also surveying the direct reports to ask them what they feel are challenges, as well as how they feel about the management. I’m getting some great feedback from the staff that I will share with the managers.
But I’m nervous…
At the risk of sounding like I’m “projecting”, I feel that I know how the manager meeting will go. I’ll start to read some of the anonymous feedback and they will respond in a few ways:
1) Hostility
2) Comments like, “Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice.” “In a perfect world…” “We can’t do that.” “Yeah, right.”
I want to set the tone of the meeting before we begin and say something like:
“When we read some of these comments, you might find yourself saying, (see above) and ultimately dismiss it. But I want you to keep an open mind about everything we read here together, and forget the people, faces, moods, and so on. Here’s a blank piece of paper and we need to look at this as an opportunity to start from scratch.
“Also, during our conversation, if I hear comments such as “Yea, in a perfect world that would be great, but…” or “We can’t do that…” and so on, I’m going to stop you and ask you to either rephrase it, putting a positive spin on your comment, or not say it at all.”
Meryl, any assistance you can provide is most welcomed. The “hostile” feeling on the Customer Service floor is a direct result of the “hostility” that emanates from the managers on a daily basis, and I need to start the “squashing the tone” process before it explodes. (more…)
